Ultimate Wheelieboard House no.42

Boyz in the Wood

Saturday fun at Frimley, Surrey. 4 boards, 2 (mini) bikes, and The boyz: Smilie, Daz, John B, Jed, Kai (& me) enjoying some wheeled woodland riding on a february afternoon... Awesome, from the drizzly start, through a wet middle to the magical end. Mega fun! Here's a few snaps :)

 

  ;)

Love, Milfs & Mountainboarding: A short story

* * *

Margaret sucked the last smoke from her cigarette and plunged it into the over-flowing ashtray on the bedside table. Exhaling the fog from her rusted lungs, she wondered why she had awoken so early. There was lots on her mind, it seemed.
She got out of bed too abruptly causing a minor head-rush, and stumbled into the bathroom.
"Where do you think you're going?" mumbled her young lover from under the covers somewhere, his voice muffled by the drool covered pillow. "This bed is like a Saarlacc pit, Mags. It's eating me."
Following a distant echoing trickle, her reply was obstinate."That's from Star Wars isn't it? Honestly Trey, you've been awake for less than a minute and you're already quoting shit. Why can't you quote something worthy."
Trey opened his eyes, got smoke in them, and clenched them again tightly while stuffing his face as far into the bed as physically possible. "Oh Christ. It's gonna be one of those days", he coughed.

* * *

"So what do you want to do today?" Margaret enquired semi-casually, as she popped the bread into the toaster. 

 He was busy hoovering up Honey Cheerios like an ant-eater at an all-u-can-eat ant smorgasboard: "mmmf...Wha'?"

A pause. "Do you mean Pardon?"

"uh? oh, yeh, I beg your pardon?" he retorted with a playful whimsy.

"I said what did you want to do today?"

"i'm going riding, i told you the other day. Meeting the guys at Eleven. Gonna make some turns at The Danks then head to West Nubbin, shralp some prime grade-A nizzle and get shredical beyond all -" He was cut off abruptly-
"Yeah okay i get the picture.  You go and have some fun. Go and manual your wheelie board with your bro's or whatever, i'll just stay here, on my own, maybe watch Saturday Kitchen. Then go shopping, I need more cigarettes anyway."

"Sweet; sounds like hell on Earth to me but whatever floats your boat."

"It doesn't float my boat Trey. It sinks my boat. It sinks my boat right down to the bottom of a very deep sea, like down in that massive trench, what's it called?"

"The Mariana Trench."

"Yes that's it. Right down there, that's where my heart is. No, my boat. No, my heart!" 

"What are you goin' on about?"

"Oh you don't understand. You're young. Carefree. Why should you care about my mid-life crisis?"

"Chillax Mags. I may be 20 years younger than you but i understand."

"You do?"

"Sure. You're still upset that Colin left. You're emotional. But it's okay, you found me. I'm not going anywhere: i got burned before by a certain pineapple-haired, wheelie-boarding girl. Literally. My chest-hair got singed when she unleashed the ancient powers within her magic mac."

"Oh honey. I wish you'd talk about that more, it'd help you know."

"Sorry, I, can't. It all seems a distant dream. But i do remember the mushroom cloud. And the screaming."

"My poor baby."

The toast popped up.

* * *

Trey sniffed his butt-pads and then chucked them in the boot of his van with all his other boarding shit. "Right Mags, i'm off", he called, "gizza kiss".
She bounded out and affectionately planted a big smacker on his lips. "Sorry about earlier. I'm just.."
"I know" he smiled, getting in the driver's seat and belting up. He turned the key, looked back at her, and added "you could always give me a special massage when i get back if you like..."
She winked a cheeky wink "Dirty boy... Have fun!"
The van pulled out the drive, leaving Margaret standing, waving, coughing, in a fog of blue exhaust smoke.
"Got you back!" he chuckled, feeling pretty good with himself.

He clicked the radio on and Paul McCartney sang "the love you take is equal to the love... you make".
Trey grinned optimistically, squinting as the sun burnt its way through the cloud for the first time that day, and booted it towards the deliciously wicked hills of pleasure and promise.

He could never have guessed what Margaret actually had in store for him on his return.

* * *

Extract taken from 'Whatever happened to Trey?', from 'Deliciously Wicked: Ten Remolicious short stories that mention mountainboarding' (also including 'The Pump Man', 'Night ride Jazz Car Park Shenanigans', Brad & Candice: The untold story", and 'Mrs Crawthorn's Valentines Day Noshing').

Not available now from all good retailers. Happy Valentines x

Mountainboard, ja

Rem has just published our Calendar for events this year, and already it needs to be updated with provisional dates for German wheelieboard events.

Willingen will be the place to be: there's the German Open in August, a nice boarding boot camp late-May where you can improve freestyle, downhilling, and visit Winterberg, and the season opener at the start of May.

There's a buzzing scene; check out this vid (that passed us by when it came out 3 months ago).. It's pretty frantic on the freestyle edit but has enough wubwub action and post to make it all sound & look sehr gut, and it certainly gets you thinking about the coming competition season...

There'll probably be more in Sulzbach-Laufen again too, like May 2011's South German Open, a board & bike crossover event...

To find out more about mountainboarding in Deutschland, learn German then go & visit their ATBA, followed by a stop at Hero Boarding. Power is nothing without control!

Spanking the Kindle

As you may have seen, Rem Central has spanked right up the monkey recently, with all kinds of interweb wonkiness trying to sabotage us from bringing out regular mountainboard magic.

Normal service should return soon (fingers crossed) and there'll hopefully be more articles & exhibitions out in Feb, but it may well be a bit quiet as work will begin soon on Remolitiondotcom THREE, Revenge of the Wordpress  :-O
It's due for release in the Spring.

This here blog, twitter and facebook have been far more condusive to our cause in the last year than the main site (due to it's lumpiness), and the way we all use use websites & e-devices is evolving. We plan on moving too, growing, changing, and at the very least doing what we already do, just a bit better.

With that in mind, we've also put together our first ebook. Previously, had you typed 'mountainboarding' into the ever-growing Kindle Store, you'd have got nothing. Now you will.

It's a compilation of Remolition's finest interviews, featuring international riders & mountainboard media-makers like Arno VDV, Diego Anderson, Evan Carlson, Pete Tatham, Rhys Crilley, Theo Acworth, Dylan Warren, Andy Milenkovic and many more.

Also included is an exclusive interview with your trusty rem crew (that be Smilie, Rog & me) that can only be found here... That's gotta be worth 77p alone!
As you can tell, we're not in this for the money lol

Here are some of the questions we answer...

How did you (yawn) guys get into mountainboarding in the first place?

Did you have a ‘mentor’ at all, like- did you guys learn at centres or from other riders or what?

Smilie, how was Remolition born?

What is your obsession with (no not diet-coke), creating hybrid boards, Roger?

Are you doing any more MBS deck graphics Wilz?

Which article/field report/exhibition/etc. are your favourites?

When would you go if you had a time machine? etc

Please check it out for your Kindle, ipad etc. It's a great read (especially all the quick-fire questions) and it even has pictures too.

or you could just spank the monkey :)

R.A.D.S.A.L.A.S.

A great solo sesh down the local yesterday.

Really muddy thanks to recent rainage, normal runs were a bit slow but you know the Daddy will never fail. The afternoon flew by:

• rode loads of lines to mix it up
• had my pod playing while trudging up (in my full-face for speaker effect)
• put more air in my tires
• spent a wee while making a small jump (to the side of a squidgy bog)
• sessioned it. (crap, but foundations for the future)

• saw a couple of muntjacs (& loads of dog walkers)
• put some wicked 180 slides in
• took a photo of tree bark with a Rem R logo revealing a tight butt-hole peeping out

• sketched a tree & eat (why isn't eat spelt differently to eat?) a banana
• rode more
• noticed it was getting dark later hooray

• soaked up the beautiful atmos
• mused on mountainboarding, nature, time travel etc
• rode some more still
• got dog shit on my board and wristies...  

WTF is up with that! I think it's happened once or twice before ever to me but it's certainly happened to others when riding in a group... That waft: that familiar, fresh foul odour. "Oh-oh, who's trod in the dog shit?" (well i was alone, so it was me, obv).
Plenty of leaves about though and a bottle of water so it was fine, but it makes me think we need a storming british campaign against the blighters... Open up a special department of S.A.S (Surfers Against Sewage), and call it Riders Against Dog Shit or something.
Except last week at a different local spot there was masses of plastic bottles & general rubbish everywhere (beacause some idiots just can't take their own litter home).
So, my new organisation is RADSALAS, Riders Against Dog Shit And Litter And Stuff.
Sign up now lol
Thanks 

SuperLuckyElectricRideTime!!!

Japan has brought us some rad mountainboard vids in the last few years, notably Gunma and Jingi from 2010, both shouty pop-culture smashing hiphop-punk fests with wicked riding in loads of environments like skateparks, woodland, centres and at demos.

Now top rider Show-hey Miyata from Toyama has compiled a mental show-reel showing off why he's one of the International MBS team...
Featuring:
Super stylish riding! 
Awesome captions!
Coloured wheels!
Nakacy, Ibuki (kawaiii) & Wakana! 
Push push!
Mountainboarding! Fuck Yeah!

Hands up who wants to go ride Japan? yup, all of us. Keep up the good work Show-hey San!
Check out a heap more vids on his youtube channel MountainXXXXX